My Day.....not for the weak stomachs

We needed to do some major shopping today since the last drop of milk was consumed this morning, and *gasp* the fruit has been gone for days.  So the list was made last night, finalized this morning and coupons had been cut.  I was ready to go.  The kids had other plans.  After an hour, we were finally on our way to the car....only to get there and realize that Collin had a dirty diaper.  So I buckled in the big kids, turned on the car and told them to sing while they waited.  In a flash we were ready to go.

On the way I realized it would be necessary to go to Target first, so I convinced the kids it would be much more fun that way.  We pull into Target and headed inside.  The oldest child decided to have a fit because he couldn't walk.....he NEVER walks in Target.  Calm down and proceed to the diaper isle where we look for pull-ups for the second child, which we are COMPLETLY out of.  *side note, I am not the biggest fan of Target anymore, especially ours.  So it just figures that they are out of her size. (which happened last time I went to get Isaiah's pull-ups)  SIGH.  Guess we are going to Madison....ugh.

Trying to put that behind us, we pull into the grocery store.  Now if you are not familiar with it, we have carts that look like cars.  They seat 2 kids, which I can handle 1 walking.  The store owns 3 of these carts......not a single cart that accommodates more than 1 child was anywhere to be seen.  Not even the "stinky" ones without the buckles in them.  NONE! I knew right there that this day was not going to get much better.  But then......there's hope right? 

The big kids hop on and away we go.  No one got hurt or run over by the cart so it was a success.  The biggest kiddo also stopped to put something back on the shelf that was on the floor.  Wow!  And then we got to the freezer section and the dreaded words were uttered.  "Mom, I have to poop."  Well, alright.  We truck it to the bathroom, abandon our cart, grab the little one and the heavy bag and run into the bathroom.  While we wait my sweet little babe pukes ALL. OVER.  Not the innocent baby spit up, but the grown up vomit.  My arm, leg, foot and shoe are wet and reek!  Then I am forced to do the unthinkable, which makes me cringe as I write this, I had to set the babe down on the bathroom floor.  Yes, the grocery store bathroom floor.  YUK.  I begged him to stay still.  I pleaded for him to not touch anything.  I quickly wiped up and we got outta there.  By now the cart was the last place anyone wanted to be, so we whizzed through the rest of the store only pausing to grab items as we walked by.  Then the checkout.  One lane, 15 items or less.  REALLY?  So I asked the lady if she was really the only one open, to which she replied yes.  Then she looks at my cart and says, "Oh this is only 15 items or less."  I almost flipped.  She was very nice and we had a few laughs after that, but really?  Oh and while we are "laughing", my children are pushing every button they possibly can on the redbox machine and lottery ticket machine.  They look like they never get out of the house!

So we decide to forge on.  There is more that needs to be done.  Do I feel like stopping....heck yes, but remember those Pull-ups that we need?! 

So we unload groceries and carry on to yet another Target store.  Now this Target doesn't have the kind of carts that the other target has, which hold 3 children.  This Target can only hold 2 kids.  and they face each other and their legs can touch each other.  Seriously, who ever invented these carts CLEARLY did not have kids or at least my kids!  So I strapped Collin to my body in the Bjorn, and buckled the other 2 in.  I received an encouraging, or maybe it was pity, "you're a brave woman" from another customer.  We marched on.  We get the items that we need, with only minimal squawks from the 2 in the cart.  We head to the checkout where the cashier says, with a concerned look, "I hope you have a nice afternoon".  Boy, do I look that pathetic?  I am starting to think that I should just stay home and do my shopping online from now on.  Really?

Well, mission accomplished.  Except that we are right next to Michaels craft store, which I just need to run in and buy 2 things.  I bribe the kids with the promise of lunch and a park if they are well behaved.  It doesn't start off well, since EVERYONE now wants to ride.  Only 2 can ride.  # 2 adjusts and we start the mission to find our items.  We made it!

By now the thought of doing ANYTHING else was too much for all of us to think about.  I know I said I bribed them with the promise of McDonalds or whatever else they wanted, but I think I was really rewarding myself for making through the morning in one piece. 

We made it to McDonalds and the park, where Brielle peed all over herself and Isaiah dropped his pants to relieve himself as well. 

Now 1 of them is napping.....yes ONLY 1. 

It's days like these that I can't believe that I don't dip into the liquor cabinet.